I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
