Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
