White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Be still, my beating vagina.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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