Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
