I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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