it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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