I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
