feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
