So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
