Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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