The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
porn star boner night. come get it.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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