Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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