...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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