my vag is so smooth its legendary
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
