you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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