the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
