is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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