you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
