I'm going to rape someone's good day.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
