What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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