Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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