Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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