currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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