A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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