So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
