i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
