You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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