everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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