I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
how can u be prego again
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Randomize
