The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
