I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
