i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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