so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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