I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
