I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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