Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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