Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
