dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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