The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
