Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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