i think my tv is drunk
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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