she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
