youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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