i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
