? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
