GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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