ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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