The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
