Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I need water and some morals
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
