Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize